[GIJOE] spoiler rant

Posted by: colinski on Aug 10, 07:09

First of all, I have no idea how Channing Tatum continues to get roles in major movies.  Before I looked into his background, I thought to myself "Now there's a model who turned to acting"... hey, who's right?

While we're on the subject of terrible acting, let me say that Kiele Sanchez of [PGETA] should be slapped for having one of the worst fake southern accents I've ever heard.  It sounded like something from a cartoon.  Who or what did she study to find that accent?  An episode of Futurama?  And how out of an entire crew of people nobody say "hey, that's not how people talk from... well... anywhere"?

Okay, back to GIBoring.  From the trailer, I thought it looked like a stupid action movie that would border on being insulting.  I went anyway, because I hate feeling good after watching a movie.  My standards were so low, I would have accepted talking dogs as part of the plot.  I am very good at suspending belief to enjoy a movie, but lines were crossed in this film.

Like that atrocious accent, did nobody at any point during scripting, filming, post, editing, anything say to the director or producers:  ICE FLOATS!  It would seem strange that in a world where people have supersuits and strange new weapons, I pick that out, but really..painting a world as our own and then ignoring all the rules we know exist is just inexcusable. I can see little things like the supersuits being able to run over plate glass that just broke under its weight, but hanging a major plot point on something so wrong.....

Also, and maybe we can chalk this up to bad CGI or something, the nanobots seemed to multiply as they moved on... more and more.  Seems to me their numbers would stay the same.

Anyway, I'm sure I can look forward to more awkward dialog and mind-blowingly stupid inaccuracies in GI Joe 2.

Tag(s): GIJOE, PGETA