Theater Report: ALIENS IN THE ATTIC [ANATC]
Posted by: dsbman on Jul 31, 14:11
Whoa, it has been a long time since I've seen a movie early enough on a Friday for a theater report to be worth anything, hasn't it? I'm seeing Funny People at 6:30 Pacific, so if numbers aren't in by 10, maybe I'll make it a twofer. Anyhow...
ALIENS IN THE ATTIC
Showtime: 9:40 a.m.
Venue: AMC Burbank 16 (Burbank, CA)
15 butts / 295 seats (5% full)
Snacks: Grande Mocha Frappuchino and Butter Croissant from Starbucks next door.
Trailers: When you walk in nine minutes after showtime and four trailers still await you, you know there's something wrong with the times. I was graced by the presences of: It Might Get Loud (weird, huh?), Bandslam (actually an OK movie), Post Grad (a terrible movie), and Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief. No big reactions from the kiddies in the crowd on any of them. Unless you count that 5-year-old who ripped off her shirt and screamed "Jack White, I love you, but not as much as I love SONY CLASSICS!" as I walked in. Seriously creepy stuff.
Box Office Potential: Given how much the Burbankers love their $6 AMCinema shows, this is not a good showing at all. Wall-E sold out all its morning showtimes last year (including a 9am) and, not to compare them material-wise but simply time-frame-wise, The Love Guru and Year One both did around 55 in the similar frame at this location. Then again, when you open something like Aliens in the Attic on 3,100 screens... well, you get what you ask for, right? Still, $10m could still happen if this were an anomelie and the multiplier is good. But maybe I'm just being overly optimistic.
My Take: Totally inoffensive and pretty watchable for its meager runtime, but there's truly nothing to see here. Pretty much a Made-for-Disney-Channel movie with a bigger budget, though it's worth noting that all the more expensive, CGI-intensive scenes happen in the dark so there isn't any need for good effects (sound like a certain Paul W.S. Anderson alien movie to anyone?) Cast is agreeable enough, with Ashley Tisdale flaunting a bikini half the time in what appears to be a strange, half-hearted plan to attract teenage boys who will never turn out anyway. WOM probably won't be too prominent with all the other kiddie offerings, however serviceable Aliens in the Attic may be.
Given how out-of-date my site is, I think I may just post a video review to my YouTube Channel later in the day (hey, I deserve one mindless plug for this report, right?).
Tag(s): ANATC