TVStocks, MusicStocks and Life

So I bypassed college and went straight to work for a company called Napa Balkamp (ARC) not long after high school.  I made $8.80 an hour pulling oil, antifreeze, etc.  I worked hard and moved up high in the company, but before that I was a young kid that loved to play my pranks.  Older now, but still love my pranks.

Like I said, I worked hard.  Because of this I trained all the new hires and temps not soon after I started.  This portion of the company was in it's infancy and growing rapidly. 

I think I was about 19, maybe 20 when this prank took place.  A guy fresh off the farm and out of school came to work there, his name was Eric.  He was a bust-ass worker and an overall great kid.  You wish more people worked like this guy.  Growing up on the farm, I'm sure it was instilled in him early.

Well, along with his excellent work ethics came a ****iness of "I can do whatever you can and better" attitude.  Nobody disliked him for it, you just grew to know that it was his playful way.

He would brag all the time about how he could drink anyone under the table, yada yada yada.  So after some time passed we would go back and fourth about how one would best the other.  We decided to make a bet where we would get the warehouse together on a Friday night at his new home (with new wife and baby mind you), eat pizza, play cards and see who could last the longest before puking.

It was decided that I would get the liquor as I had a bunch of connections, seeing as we were both underage we thought nothing about it.  Bacardi 151 was the weapon of choice.

I was able to get 3 - 375ml bottles.  Josh, a buddy of mine (who also worked there, would also be at the party) and myself spent a full night perfecting a coke and water mix that looked identical to the 151.

We emptied one bottle and filled to a little above the neck, compared the colorings and determined it would pass the test.

Friday night came, everyone was there (maybe 15 of us) and we had quite of bit of beer and pizza.  The night started out fun, we drank beer, played cards and ate pizza.  The baby was going  down the road to grandmas soon, so we were asked to be somewhat quiet until that took place.

The time had come, we broke open our bottles (I let him choose the one he wanted).  I started first downing almost the entire neck of mine.  Now if you have never drank 151 before, that's a tough task at such an early age.  A 375ml will really hurt a novice and quick.  I knew there was no way I could handle that entire bottle after we had been drinking beer, hell, even if we hadn't.

So he's starting on his, and while he is screaming from the bite and jerking his head around my buddy Josh and I switch the my true bottle of 151 with the mix.  I then proceed to give an Oscar worthy performance over the next hour.  I'm drinking this fake liquor, hitting it so hard and acting as though it's stinging my throat and chest.  I'm going at it strong, but never strong enough to suspend disbelief.

This kid is amazed, because as I said, 151 has bite.  He's trying to keep up with me and at half the finished bottle he's completely hammered.  I'm maintaining and I think he sees I won't be beat, but I keep going and so does he.  You got to know that with this crowd came a lot of **** talking and instigation.  "Get him Eric" people would say, knowing damn well the kid was hurting already.

Eric kept being ****y, so I wouldn't give in and proceeded to finish my enitre bottle (this over the course of almost half an hour).  I appeared almost unfazed and asked him "Do you need help with that?"  He almost got 2/3rds of the way through and that's when IT BEGAN!!  What happened next I felt bad about for years and years after... still kinda do, but at that age you never think things could end like it did.

He ERUPTS.  He starts punching holes in his walls, straight through the drywall.  Probably 4 or 5 walls he tore HUGE holes through.  Before that he had taken a full pizza and smeared it all over his white walls and carpet.  His wife was going crazy and out of nowhere he starts talking about how she doesn't love him, etc. etc.  She's screaming, throws the ring, leaves and people are trying to stop him from doing further damage.

He would calm down, jump for the bottle and take another swig.  The living area and kitchen are destroyed.  People take him into the bathroom that was connected to his newborn sons room.  He closes the door and you hear him yacking.  We go in to see him and find that he has/is tearing the **** out of the crib, it's ruined.

We get him down and say "enough" and he swears he's alright.  He then takes off towards the kitchen running full speed for the table with beer/pizza/151 by runs right past it through the sliding glass door.  It completely shatters and he is on the paver patio completely f'd up.

This kid is a mess.  Cuts all over him, house a wreck, wife left.  There are about 6 of us there at this time and Eric.  He's crying saying he wants to go to his room while the rest of us are debating if we take him to the hospital.  As we are all underage drinking nobody wanted to get in trouble, so we rinse him off in the shower with only his underwear/socks on, try to bandage the cuts and lay him on his bed with a towel.

We are all now back in this main living area and it looks the room from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.  We're trying to detemine what the hell we do.  We decide at this point it's time for everyone to go, just as we are his wife returns and she's of course furious.  She's screaming about how she wants a divorce and starts to see what has been done to her home.  We're trying to explain what her husband had done and she heads for the bedroom to rip him, except he wasn't there.  His window was open and he had taken off down the street.

I bet we looked for him for an hour, it's probably 2am by now and he's nowhere to be found.  A few of us stand outside his home while a buddy smokes and we lean on Erics truck.  We're just talking about how horrible the night turned out and how bad this all ended up.  We hear noise coming out of the bed, it was Eric in his underwear and socks curled up like a baby sucking his thumb.

I can't make this story up if I wanted.  We get him inside, help clean as much as we could again, put him to bed and head home.  My buddy and I swear to never tell a soul of what we did (at least until time has passed). 

Eric didn't come to work the following Monday, but he did come in on Tuesday.  He congratulated me on winning the bet and went on how well I could hold my liquor. However, I contributed one weeks paycheck and tips from my serving job from a weekend to help him pay for damages to his home.  Around $350 in total.  He was very thankful.

Eric was divorced several months later, and quit his job not shortly after that.  I never told Eric the prank Josh and I pulled on him because I felt too responsible for the aftermath.  We never stayed in touch.

I want to believe there were problems well before the amplified alcohol incident, but in a way I truly believe I'm partially to blame for it all.  Can't even believe I shared this story, but in a way typing these posts every now and again are therapeutic for me.

I have probably 20+ pranks I have played over the years that are just by all accounts awesome and some sad.  This one didn't end well, but it was never my intent to hurt him nor his family.  I hope they are all doing well today and often wonder about them.

My friends, I am off for a few weeks in Anaheim and Kauai.  I will be posting very limited and looking in when I can.  I'm ready for the much needed break.  Meadow (my 6 year old daughter) was downstairs dancing earlier to M83, pretending to be a mermaid princess!  Guess she's ready too.  Everyone please have a safe and happy 4th of July!